悬吊人

Seven

回到火车上

汽笛高声呜叫，白雾蒸腾，与无垠的旷野相比，火车就像一只吵闹爬行的小虫子。我起身去开水间打了一点水，在窗边看见了远处连绵的雪山。回到铺位，继续与归来的朴允浩聊天。

“你知道吗？由于市民抗议，渣土车都是过了夜里一点才偷偷跑出来倾倒。司机没想到凌晨一点以后，在那个偏僻的地方还有人在路上跑，所以……”

“所以司机撞死了医生，救了你一命。”

“可以这么说。”

警方在林凯家里找到了那几根风干的手指，轰动一时的小指杀人案告破，而他作为残忍夺取四条人命的连环杀手，在很长一段时间里成为了人们侃大山神聊的素材。

可是林凯只杀了三个人。

他不知道，在我刚搬到单工宿舍的时候，其实是喜欢敞开窗帘的。

我喜欢城墙，也喜欢河。直到有一天，我远远地看到一个在城墙上散步的男人。隔了很久，我还是一眼认出他是我的继父，那个把我妈妈推下楼的人。

我选了一个无人的清晨，穿上运动服上了城墙，假装跟他攀谈。他已经老了，根本认不出我来，而且很乐意与年轻女人说笑。我假意向他请教保健操的动作要领，让他做其中一个抬臂独立的动作给我看，我要配合城墙的景色拍张照片。他不虞有诈，很高兴地摆了那个姿势。

然后，我从墙缺把他推下去了。(:http:///转载请保留!)

后来的事，我也不知道自己当时怎么会做出那样的行为，我下了城墙，找到了那男人的尸体，哭着割下了他的一截小指，把他推下了河。就是那个时候，望着茫茫的河水，看着手上的血，大段空白骤然降临，幼年的所有事，包括与妈妈有关的一切，都被我封存在了记忆里。从那天起，我再也不敢拉开窗帘。也是从那时起，朴允浩来到了我身边，陪伴填补我的空白。

林凯曾经计划将杀人罪行嫁祸给我，结果是我嫁祸了一个给他。

“所以说，你到底还是杀了一个人。”

“是的，但是我不后悔。”我望着全黑的车窗，风在外面盘旋。

他沉默片刻，开口说： “我是来告别的。”

我有些意外： “要是我不让呢？”

他抬起头： “我不是你的另一个人格。我是你虚构的人，但我也是一个人。”他像是在组织句子，半天才继续说下去， “作者写出一个人物，就再也不能控制他了。”他望着我说。

“你在专栏里提过，我小时候缠着妈妈从柜子里拿吃的，有一次妈妈生气了，将整块糕都塞进我嘴里。你有没有想过，那些花生糕从好多地方一起挤进牙缝的感觉很冰冷？还有我家门口的向阳花，我亲眼看过那些紫色的花瓣在太阳下跳舞，她的小裙子像花一样旋转……”

这我倒真没想过。我回头看看车厢里沉入梦乡的人们，与朴允浩相比，到底谁比谁更真实。

车窗外忽然大亮，外面是一片蓝到发黑的湖泊和白色群山，这正是小说所描述的地方！朴允浩的胖脸上突然绽放灿烂的笑容。

“这就是我要去的地方。”

说完他就拉开窗跳了出去。我扑在封闭的窗户上，看着他像风筝一样消失在夜色中的湖泊上。

Introduce:The railway station that car of One night train leaves this the city zone is very far is located at wild in, two side grow orbit careless exuberance, carry the look can see dark hill. Station hollowness, draught howl, I shrink head approach tightens collar, follow the forces of a large body of of Wu Yang Yang crosses check ticket mouth and a covered corridor or walk, cross a few stair up and down, boarded the train eventually. Central heating lapped at a draught aspic wood the body. I continue to follow a team to advance brokenly, the person that often is asked to lift box to wrap is held back. Walk along railroad car rear, palmar bank note is right went up berth, I loosened at a heat, unship knapsack is thrown on the shop, also threw oneself. The car on new customer is most when roistering, although passed at 10 o'clock, still be bright and unusual in railroad car, find a place for of baggage, hit water, of bubble surface, chat. My berth is recumbent between boiled water, person bearer is gone to never-ending. I am holding knee in the arms to sit on the bed, the berth that looking at the empty sky opposite side is silent as the grave. I want those who do not have a focus to my eyes is empty boundless and indistinct certainly, because also nobody talks with me. Car attendant will change a ticket, she looks at empty shop " well " , I hand she two pieces of tickets. Also I buy that berth. "Where is person? " she became inclined one on, hand me the brand. "Come a little while. " " drove a little while. " she reminds went. Until drive, also come without the person from beginning to end on. At 11 o'clock, all round gradually quiet to come down, light-off. Only far snore as one falls. This does not hamper I am immersed in halcyon darkness in, I lean on clapboard gently, come down laxly thoroughly eventually. Although be full of longing to travelling alone, however from beginning to end not dare start off. Passed 30, the likelihood is to felt to also do not eat anyway how old had a deficit, embark on a journey eventually so. Go Tibet, it is a predestined relationship from —— of a novel " deserted " . I do not have method to forget that die girl rice Ma in the book, she is gone to pass the mountain peak of lakefront on horseback by camel in one's childhood, self-conscious virgin soil extends cerebella bag to see a day. After she died, be gone to by camel again lakefront, whereaboutldirection is self-buried stage. I often imagine that lake face, shamrock is gotten fearsome, the mist that posse posse be in harmony is together, lake buffalo gnat is multiplying mist to rise to throw water in succession copulatory, next gone. I saw fog also has in the train, this is impossible, but I saw really. A mist is together repeatedly, diffuse largely railroad car, accompany the boom that whistle whistles. Also do not eliminate the tinnitus that is me of course. The people in Bai Wu as before sleep deeply, have a people from the railroad car that lock up the head is then slowgoing go, go closer more, clearer and clearer. That is a man, facial hole is a bit round, eyebrow eye is again common nevertheless, black casing glasses, wear jacket of slide fastener of a grid, athletic pants, white gym shoes