我之死

【八】

我还沉浸在纠结的回忆之中，已经天光大亮了。

老婆和女儿已经起床，准备去参加我的葬礼。

我一路跟着她们来到殡仪馆。

火葬场的一个大厅里，人头攒动，哀乐声声，哭声阵阵。

每个进来的人都怀着各自的心情瞻仰了我的遗容。望着早已摔得变形的脸，我心里一阵阵难过。

我默默地看着他们，反而感觉心情无比轻松。我已经解脱了，哈哈，看你们在这世界上挣扎吧。

看着肉身被炼尸炉里的熊熊烈火所吞噬，我知道，我在尘世的一切都已经画上了句号，所有的罪恶也都随之葬身火海。

我惊奇地发现，单位来的人都不是头头脑脑。他们都在干什么？原来关系不错的人，怎么来得那么少？

我决定到单位一探究竟。

市委常委会议室里。

“几天来，王巴丹同志生前的所做作为，根据举报已经形成初步材料，有些情况还在进一步调查和取证中，”市委书记总结性地说，“我们大家要引以为戒，管好自己的嘴和手，教育好家属和子女，我们要把他当成一个反面教材，在市委进行传达和通报，做到警钟长鸣！散会。”

“他这是明显的畏罪自杀，唉，这个老王，平时看他干起活来风风火火，为人处事也很低调，没想到啊！”分管公、检、法的副市长会后说。

“知人知面不知心，谁知道一个洗浴中心的色情按摩，牵扯出一个公安分局局长和一个副市长呢！多行不义必自毙啊！”市长感慨地说。

我又来到市政府秘书组的办公室。

“哎，告诉你们，王市长，不，王巴丹在世的时候，高档宾馆有长包房，他还经常去一些娱乐场所。”我的司机步斯仁眉飞色舞地对几个女人说。

“是吗？你是不是也去过？”办公室主任胡丽晶笑着说。

“我可没进去，只是傻等在外面，领导的事情，不该问的不问。”

“哈哈，谁知道呢。”胡丽晶大笑起来。

“哈哈，就是，你去了也不会说的。”屋里传来一片浪笑声。

“我——我的为人你们还——不——不知道？”步斯仁急于解释口吃着说。

“哎，步斯仁，王巴丹刚死你就爆料啊，他平时对你可是不错啊，你可以到纪委去检举。”不知谁插话道。

“这——”步斯仁红着脸不再言语。

“对了，听说他好几个情人呢！”副主任尹叶青说。

“我也听说了，咱们这里工会的那个小骚娘们儿，就是他从团委带来的。”胡丽晶撇着嘴不屑地说。

“也不知道他老婆知不知道，怕是知道了也管不了，哈哈。”又是一阵哄笑声。

这群骚娘们儿，就知道在背后嚼舌头。(:http:///转载请保留!)

如今我是身败名裂，死人一个了，你们都胆子大了。我活着的时候，你们见到我不一口一个市长市长地喊着。尤其那个胡丽晶，老子和你在一起的时候，你都忘记啦？床上的温存你都不记得了？不是我，你能这么快做上主任的位子？忘恩负义的东西，还有脸说我。

“听说王巴丹副市长是畏罪跳楼的。”一个保洁员说。

“嗯，他要不自杀，那也要蹲监狱，坐大牢的。说是从他家里搜出价值上千万的的东西呢。”另一个保洁员唏嘘着说。

有这么多钱吗？我自己也不知道。

我悄悄地离开市政府大楼。没想到我成了这里人们乃至整个社会议论的话题。

让他们说去吧，都会到阴曹地府的。我突然想到了彭淑珍，或许，她也正在等着让我偿命呢。

活着的时候，没这么多人知道我的名字，死后我王巴丹却成为人们茶余饭后的笑柄，呵呵，也罢，可以对我盖棺定论了。

【尾声】

我的时辰或许该到了，我感觉身体越来越紧，浑身烧得厉害。瞧瞧我从火葬场背出来的这点儿钱，可怎么回去向狱官儿行贿啊！家里人都不愿意多烧些纸钱了，还指望那些所谓的朋友吗？我失望地徘徊在死界的边缘。

我也受过高等教育，由于立场不坚定，致使党性完全泯灭，在宦海中一步步堕落到了众叛亲离的地步，怪谁呢！

想到幽冥界那些可怕的鬼怪，那阴森恐怖的景象，那撕心裂肺般的哭喊声，还有将要面临剐罪台上的拷打，我失声嚎哭起来。

此刻，我又看到了黑白无常，他们手里拿着狼牙棒和镣铐跳跃着奔我而来。我本能地想跑，可我已经无路可逃。

“啊，救命啊，救命！”我大声喊叫着扑到在地。

等待我的将是严刑拷打和无尽的黑暗。

Introduce:[an added ingredient] right, I had died, when me jump is jumped, lay off is not perfect arc, heavy fall those who fall on the ground that momently; When me tremble is worn since the station, looking at that pair of horrible flesh body later of housing that momently; When me in pupil video and caky of the world that momently, I know, oneself had died. I wipe canthus to squeeze last tear that go out, laughed, although this smile returns malformation than crying. I know I freed oneself from now on, before those are irritated extremely miscellaneous, the person of kink making a person, thing, already with me have nothing to do with. Night, to my the dead, it is deathly hush really. twinkle by rainbow heavy traffic, at me for, already was yin and yang two lie between, be reluctant to leave no longer. Looking at those returning in the dirty night muddy in rush about struggling people, a sarcastic smile, thrill through my pale face. Actually, I am early blamed, just put the too much person in no less than this the dazzling human world with its myriad temptations and issue, too cross cling to those are blundering in this this world flourishing. [one] my face about leaves, wander in world of vast brimless darkness. Look, this is what kind freedom is mixed relaxed, I am skipping all the way, cheering, in the darkness of night of this free from worries freedom runs quickly madly. "Where to go? " abrupt, sinister in appearance black and white and fugacious appear before me. Had not waited for my reaction to come over, darby anklet had been worn. "Hades father has purpose, catch you to go back trial. " two ghost make fishily says the area. "Died to be interrogated even? " I ask questioningly. "That is natural, you should undertake confessional to the behavior of preexistence. Go rapidly! " they are pushing me, urge. "2 uncle, have a request smally. " I hurriedly path of kowtow make a bow with hands folded in front. "Say! " white fugacious had twisted pale face impatiently to say ferociously. "Whether keep moment, let me see them how cry my fleshy body. " " what looks, perhaps nobody cries you. " black fugacious path. "Rapidly start off, did not delay time. " white fugacious line. Two ghost poor give as security is worn I, pass 3 road river all the way, entered dead group. On Acheron road, flower of the other shore leaves is beautiful very, one gorgeous and clinking, let " person " enjoy oneself so much as to forget to leave. 2 ghost father urges if it were not for closely, I want to pluck really a few him hold a memorial ceremony for the soul of a deceased person. Neglect plain river side, bank of 3 unripe stone, I stop the account that watchs pair of my preexistence human society, well? The woman that how has implication with me is written down above. "Elder brother, your look, this boy is returned once wind,flowers,snow and moon, tasteful countless ah. " white fugacious looked sidelong at me, laughing at say. I lower my head hurriedly not language. The heart thinks: Reached shade Cao ground government office, I this is nodded " good thing " be afraid of is a truth will come out anyway. Nether bridge head, mother-in-law of the first month is smiling to deliver a bowl of soup. I am received