水仙少年

11

从那天起，“杜尚”再也没有出现过，他放弃了总决选。那次拍摄的mV是纳西塞斯的成名曲，也是唯一的一曲。他们曾如流星般绚烂，也如流星般陨落，他们的名字早已在众人的呼吸中生了锈，当年狂热的粉丝大多忘了他们，早就改为追逐其他明星。

虽然电视台施加了不少压力，但因为实在缺少线索，警察也放弃了调查。

我也不用去电视台了，没人会在意我的去向，离开杜家兄弟，我只是渺小的尘埃。

我没上大学，而是留在家里的冰厂帮忙，我主动要求承担最辛苦的工作，看守冰库。父母为我的懂事而高兴，我比任何人都更早上班，收工也是最后一个离去。看守冰厂的第二个月，我提出加装一台太阳能蓄电系统，永远不用担心停电而导致冰激凌融化。虽然用了两万多块钱，但父亲很开心，赞我懂事，还说将来把所有生意交给我他也放心。

不会有人知道，在冰寒彻骨的冷库最深处，有一具全世界最完美的尸体藏匿于改造蓄电系统时加建的隔层里。

我终于实现了儿时的梦想，杜家兄弟中的一个会成为我的终身伴侣。

我没法不这么做，我爱他们，可他们只爱自己。虽然是这种另类的方式，但今生今世，杜文都只属于我了。他不会唠叨和埋怨，不会再对我发脾气，他是全世界脾气最好的先生，我可以看到他，也可以摸到他。虽然冷了点，但他毕竟不是蜡像，他有血有肉也有颗真正的心。

现在，他就端坐在角落里，随意地把手搭在膝盖上，嘴角好看地向上牵起。他是自愿跟我进冷库的，而且为了保持完美，直至呼吸停止心脏停跳都维持着这个微笑。

在他对面，有面足够照到他全身的镜子，这是我承诺过的。他失去了呼吸，却会成为这个寒冷世界里真正的纳西塞斯，他的右手里有一支仿真水仙，虽然没有芬芳，却永远不会凋零。

现在，我就坐在他身边，虽然穿着棉袄，但我还是要拢着手缩成一团，每次来见他我就只能是这副样子。

爱情真是自私，我居然要了他的命。我认真地回想了所有我们之前发生过的事，却找不到任何真爱的证据。虽然我对自己说我是爱的，可事实上，我所怀着的这种感情比爱情更深邃，比爱情更刻骨，这种感情应该叫做占有欲吧。我想占有杜文，杜文和杜尚都想永远占有完美的皮囊。当我明白这一点时，忽然觉得杜文脸上凝结的微笑也黯淡了几分。

我做错了，他也错了。我们全都错了。

永远让他待在这个冰冷的、阴暗的角落里，根本就是自欺欺人，世人早就忘了他们，除了我，不会有人记得他们当年的风光和无与伦比的容颜。既然我永远不会忘记，那把他放在这冰冷的人间地狱又是何必？

我决定做点什么来挽回这个无法弥补的错。

今晚，我的胃口比平时好很多，我需要力气，足够把杜文搬到水仙花田里的力气。我要把他跟杜尚葬在一起。做完这些我就该离开了，毕竟我还年轻，不该永远守在这个小城里，我想出去看看外面的世界。

以后的每年，水仙花开的季节我都会回来，在清香满园的水仙花田里，我会看到他们的影子。

PS：

水仙花的英文是Narcissus，自恋狂的英文是Narcissism。

纳西塞斯（Narcissus）是希腊神话中的美少年，天下第一美男子，他不爱任何人，在湖边欣赏自己的美丽倒影，枯坐至死，死后化作一株水仙，永生永世顾影自怜。

Introduce:The corner all the year round that I crouch is in chock freezing point is the following, knee acid bilges pins and needles, temporal using awl to plunge into like somebody, every bone with a rustle trembles in the body of delicate in health. The corner diffuses in that wicket piece sweet the grandma of be bored with is sweet and as if the gas that comes from Tartarean Yin Han. Do not have a person to enrage alone only, sunshine also does not illuminate here forever. Each night, I can see blue-black ice mist is medium, then the face of United States Huan is in Zhang Meilun to smile to me. My prince, there is my sign only in the pupil that his get rid of appears, the body also is like iron and steel kind firm and persistent, also won't leave me again and go. I cannot help reaching a hand, want to feel the skin of his ivory color, ke Bing flesh is penetrative, had not come up against me to had frozen so that do not bear ……1 Du Wen was missing. Everybody is confused. The same night of Du Jiada's person comes, defend the message waits in public security bureau. All such as all and relevant person is made record affidavit. The concert is forced to defer, although entrance ticket already work off, but nobody is shouting return a ticket, vermicelli made from bean starch people crying to state they are willing to wait, come back till Du Wen, everybody did not believe Duwenhui to go really. I am defended cry rarely in Du Shang's room in, ground of Da of one face wet Da looks at him, the hope can find the sign of some of Du Wen on his body. Du Shang resembles honour sit for a long time in like sculpture wave on the window, hanging down palpebral, look at the ground to go up to rush about for bread endlessly everybody. The day knows what he is thinking after all, did not cry actually, arrive as a child big I did not see him had cried, does stone make his heart? Did twin little brother disappear unexpectedly not anxious? Two polices beat the door noisy. Be apart from Du Wen to be missing to had exceeded 48 hours, police need is opposite again affidavit, even I become a witness beside, look to whether have omission detail. "Had you produced conflict that evening? " young police presses recording pen. "Without, he closes himself in toilet not to agree to come out all the time, we did not say a word even. " Du Shang is hanging down first, the little gift that enjoying a vermicelli made from bean starch to send. "He oneself when coop toilet already power cut, be? " aged constabulary complement asks. "Yes, before I enter a room already power cut, when Mei Mei knocks, I am shaving. " Dushang appears a little impatient, because same question has been N second inquiry. I won't neglect the job that produces that evening forever, because the hotel upgrades from power supply system and temporarily power cut 3 hours, dancing rehearse undertakes shifting to an earlier date to the half endinged, so busy that the staff member of decadent finds reason to come home severally eventually. I walked along 3 streets to buy Du Wen to love the eating dry river that fry an ox eventually, because power cut elevator cannot be used, climbed do sth over and over again of more than 10 stair to go out again one