美食家

[五]

我失魂落魄地打开房门，桑妮正在收拾行李。

我看着她妙曼的背影，一股寒意从脚下升起。

——“阿蚊，你应该去娶妻生子，我没办法怀孕。我的基因有缺陷。”

——“阿蚊，你让我对人类有了全新的认识。”

——“为什么那么多证书？哈哈，当你有太长太长的时间需要打发的时候，除了去念书能做什么？”

——“阿蚊，总有一天，你会明白，我和你，其实是完全不同的人。”

——“为什么念厨艺学校？我是我们家族的美食顾问。”

——“阿蚊，肉身对于我来说，不过是一件衣裳。在漫长的时间河流中，我可以选择许许多多的衣裳。”

……

鸡皮疙瘩从皮肤上一点点冒了出来，像密密麻麻的小刺，刺得我身体的每一寸都痛得要死。

原来桑妮已经给过我许多暗示了，只是我太蠢，一直以为她是书读得太多了，又或者她的宗教信仰让她的思想与我有太多太多的不同，我以为那是桑妮超脱的境界……原来，不是的。

“阿蚊，你回来了。”桑妮转过身来，冲着我微微笑。

她一直有这样的本事，无论我的动静有多小，她都能准确地回过头来找到我所在的方向。我以为那是恋人之间的心灵感应，却不知道那是高等生物独有的本事，他们自古就狩猎我们，自然嗅得到我们的气味。

湿漉漉的眼泪顺着脸颊流了下来，不是因为害怕，而是因为悲伤。

我看着我的恋人，想要号啕大哭，却只是软弱地蹲在地上，缩成一团，默默地抽泣。

“阿蚊。”桑妮款款走过来，即使知道她身躯中埋藏了无数只虫子，我却依旧深爱她。

她蹲下身，抱着我的头，轻声道：“你不是一直想要去我家吗？你看到的一切，就是我的家，我的家族，我负责研究人类饲养以及烹饪。长老说你吓得呕吐了，这不是你的错。任何人见到那一幕也会受不了的。你已经很勇敢了，只是真相就是这么残酷。阿蚊，我们是不同的。你爱的我，也不是真实存在的。你见过我们的真面目了不是吗？我们才是真正的‘美食家’。”

我紧紧抱着桑妮的背不松手，歇斯底里地喊着：“我不在乎！我不在乎！你不能离开我！”

桑妮捧着我湿漉漉的脸，一字一顿道：“阿蚊，我们的确与人类有过亲密的接触，就像你们与宠物，可以是朋友、亲人一样的存在，甚至也有过什么男人与宠物狗结婚，女人与宠物狗结婚的猎奇新闻……但是阿蚊，毕竟还是不一样的，关键时刻一旦有利益冲突，被牺牲的，一定是更低一等的生物。”

“我们之前都好好的！”事到如今，我才真正体会到桑妮对我的重要性，我爱她的性格，她的智慧，她一切的一切，就算她褪下这身人肉衣裳我依旧会呕吐。

但是，人类就是这么肤浅的动物，我们永远只愿意相信表象，我们的眼睛看到的一切远远比真相来得更为真实。只要丑陋的真相没有在此刻表露出来，我们都愿意怀疑那只是错觉和幻象。

“阿蚊！”桑妮的语气严厉了起来，“我们不能进医院，在科学仪器面前我们无法隐藏，X光会照出我们的本来面目……那些结婚了的，无时无刻不在躲避任何一个进医院的可能性，户籍严格追查起来也会发现问题……你们的发展已经超出了我们的预料，甚至，我们也要融入你们的环境中，学习，生活……虽然，从表面意义上来说，我们是狩猎者与食物的关系。我们不会衰老，可以任意更换躯壳，就像你们换衣服一样，但是也会随之带来一连串的麻烦，所以我们不会在某个地方或者某个人身边待太久……因为总会露馅的。”

我止住了哭泣，怔怔地望着她。

“我拜托长老不要伤害你，虽然之前也曾抱有幻想，如果你知道了真相表现得没有那么夸张……也许，我们还有机会继续在一起。阿蚊……你保重，再见了。”她像一个温柔的母亲，长姐，或者任何一个长辈似的角色，在我额上轻轻一吻。

依旧是带着居高临下的温柔，但我知道，此生，那种温柔再不会有了。

桑妮对我的爱，一直带着怜悯，就像我们看一只狗，一只猫，一只可爱的小兔子……

桑妮拖着行李箱走了，也许从她离开我起，“桑妮”这个人就不会存在了。我再也不会有任何关于她的消息，下一秒，她可能会是一个小孩，一个少年，一个少女，甚至是一个老妪……我再也不会认出我的桑妮。

从那以后，我开始吃素了。我看待鸡鸭猪鱼们，也有了不同的眼光。我不再杀生，不再为了满足自己刁钻的口味而去追求新鲜。因我知道，在这硕大的蓝色星球中，我们只是食物中的一种，我不再骄傲于我的这张嘴，这副挑剔的肠胃，这身易老的皮囊。

我对万事万物开始有了谦卑的敬仰。

我一直在寻找桑妮，我知道，总有一天我会在茫茫人海中遇上她，无论她变成什么模样，我都会一眼就认出她来。

我会告诉她，我已经不再是美食家，我只是这苍茫宇宙最最卑微的……一个人。

Introduce:[One] human curiosity, it is probably do not have the limit. No less than at the moment I, nake in sitting in bath crock, holding a sharp sharp knife. I am pondering over next wanting that cut the flesh of next which place, both neither desertions life, also do not affect me next of life eat and drink pull scatter. I am an epicure. Do not want to misunderstand, I am not the sort of drive everyday eat everywhere like a place where people gather for various purposes eat and drink drink the cheater writer that takes red bag to all sorts of flattering is in finally on the press column, also not be those received inn-keeper benefit expenses to be on food festival eye the dabbler that speak with fervor and assurance, not be to have the dead fat person that gets full head pig's large intestines more. Real conference eater, it is a thin person certainly, because we are the demand is very high. I do not eat the pork of market, no matter you how cooking, bite readily go down, full mouth is feed flavour completely, I of which brand can eat come out. Do not think the flesh of the supermarket can have many fresh, I had eaten pork of aspic of of the previous night, go searching purchase department manager theory, he says the pork of the supermarket is fresh solemnly. I laugh, record the word that left him. After a hour, I carried two saucers flesh to reach his office. I say: "You look, this is the flesh of your supermarket, put in the one decoct in boiler, whole flesh is dead. Fresh pork and Biedermeier pork, the boiler with same same duration, can present different crimpness, degree giving oil and colour and lustre also can differ, more never mention it mouthfeel. Your foretaste tastes me. " ground of his one face doubt is worn my chopstick, ate a steaky pork, sip sip the mouth, be in it seems that the aftertaste. "You eat those who eat you again. " he sends the flesh obediently into the mouth, close a key point, serious ground is chewed, pharynx go down. For a long time, he opens double eye, looking at me fably. Yes, such ordinary, young man, on a few flesh is the meeting how truer? Still made two flesh contrast? He looks me up and down seriously, fathomming the purpose of my visit it seems that. He is thinking certainly, does correct supermarket look for me intentionally to pick a thing? "What to eat to differ? " ground of my one face calm ate the meat entirely in ash-bin, dish is already cool, fleshy aroma also was done not have. He is dead the duck shakes stubbornly shake one's head: "Do not have. " I show be clear the smile at the heart, sigh path: "Why, your eyes tells me, you eat understood. " the director praised at a heat, feel a few pieces of RMBs from inside the pocket, fill in secretly I: "Be to I am sorry really, this is special case of special case …… only really! Give you this know all about the goods unfortunately to touch went up. This bit of little purpose should be our compensation, ah! Give you apologize! " alas, these people, it is a hopeless case really cannot