聊宅

6.保险事故调查员

然而，我的好运气并没有持续到聂先生自杀的时候，或许，聂先生永远也不会自杀，因为他似乎并不是什么精神病，而是一家保险公司的保险事故调查员，他主动接近我的目的只有一个，那就是搜取我杀死濮镜的确凿证据。

他成功了，他从我的只言片语中套出几个细节，并顺利找到了我丢在郊外的凶器，那个碎裂的烟灰缸。当警察将我从聊宅带走以后，我才知道，原来濮镜当时并没有死。

我“抛尸”离开后，有个流浪汉很快发现他，并迅速报警，警察赶到时，发现他还有一丝气息，就急忙送去医院。

濮镜是死在医院的，死前他只说了一句话：“我是被一群外地口音的流氓打成这样的，如果我死了，请转告我父母，不要办葬礼，不要告诉任何人。”

濮镜啊，这个坏家伙，他这么做是怕我被抓吧？是怕我找到赎罪的方式吧？是希望我在痛苦中度过余生吧？可是，他忘记了他曾买过一份保险，受益人是我，而我根本不知道这件事。后来他父母整理遗物时，才发现这份巨额保险单。

濮镜的父母并不认识我，而保险公司则暂时偷偷将这个单子压了下来，派了事故调查员秘密调查我，那个调查员就是聂先生。

其实，聂先生并不知道我就是凶手，他也并不在意我是不是凶手，他只是在一条一条的试探，想从我这里找到拒绝赔付的理由而已，试探的第一条就是，被保险人是否是保险受益人杀死的，如果是，自然就不用赔付了。连他自己都没想到，他只是随便编造了半真半假的谎言，我就上钩了——所谓的抛尸鱼塘，所谓的丢落在现场的名片，不过都是他随口编造的。

庭审的时候，我没有为自己请律师，我只对一件事做了辩解：“濮镜是我杀的，但绝对不是为了保险金，我当时只是……只是太爱他太怕失去他，因为一直担心失去他，太担心了，太太太担心了，所以在失手用烟灰缸砸伤他之后，心一横，牙一咬，干脆彻底失去他好了，他死了，我就再也不用担心失去他了。杀人的罪，我认！骗保的罪，我死也不认！”

现场一片沉默，濮镜的父母低低抽泣着。

这时，金娇娇突然从旁听席上跳起来，歇斯底里地大吼着：“你这个坏女人！为什么要杀死濮镜？！为什么濮镜宁愿对你这种女人死心塌地也不肯接受我的追求？！为什么！”

我的眼泪喷涌而出，濮镜啊，这个坏家伙，你是故意要让我内疚死吧？

7.聂先生之死

由于我坚决不承认自己骗保的罪行，检方需要保险公司和警方提供更具体的证据，审判的事暂时耽搁下来。

在候审期间，聂先生不知出于什么心态，曾探视过我一次。

和前些日子相比，他看起来更清瘦更憔悴了，似乎要被宣判的人是他一样。

我们说了一些无关痛痒的话，临别的时候，他突然低低地问我：“你怕吗？如果被判死刑，你怕吗？”

我淡然地笑笑，本想说“不怕，因为对于我来说，在内疚中活下去比死更痛苦”，但话到嘴边，却变成：“我很怕死，怕得要死。可是，人总会死的，先生总有一天也会死的，您怕吗？”

聂先生听了，紧紧抿着嘴唇，颤巍巍地离开了。

从那以后，我就再也没有见过他，据说是自杀了。

因为太怕死，每天都为死亡的事而担心，所以很干脆的死掉了。

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